Financial Fairness
Financial fairness is when a couple is being reasonable with the money that is being brought into the home. Bad financial decisions is the number one destroyer of most marriages! This is why marriage is a "business" partner relationship. You have to handle your business before having any pleasure. I do understand that people are going to do what they want to within their home that makes them comfortable. But as I said before, there are basic guidelines to a relationship.
At a minimum there should be a least four accounts. A joint/bill account, joint/savings, and your own individual accounts. If this is what you decide to do. As I said, at a minimum. I will discuss these with you. First, the joint/bill account. This is where you two come together to pay the bills only.
Your individual account is for you. This is your own individual money. Its for your hobbies, play money, your treat yourself to something nice money. Even though you are married. You still need to have something for yourself. Its good to have your own account simply because, nothing is life is guaranteed. Also your spouse may not be good with money. So if you two had an joint account. But one of you keeps dipping into it without the other one knowing it. This could become a VERY big problem! The joint/savings account is the operated the same way as the joint/bill. The fair way to share these two is to have it set up to where the money CANNOT be moved without the others consent. In other words the account needs BOTH signatures to make withdrawals.
You both work hard for your money. Would it be fair to have your spouse spend all of it without you knowing it? In other words, in essence you would be working for nothing. You have worked for your hard earned money. You are going to want to reap the benefits of your hard work.
I have once heard a man say. He would not get married, or be in another commited relationship. He says, its the fact of working hard to only give it away. He was refering to his relationship. Obviously his is in a relationship that is not financially fair.
There are women in this world that will NOT marry you or want to be with you. If you two do not have a joint account. In other words wants just as much access to the money as you(men). Men typically don't stress on these types of things. I am guessing for women it has something to do with security. She possibly has a plan, or she feels that she does not have a hold on you, or you are not truly together. Now if a woman has all the money, she will not be so quick to say "lets get a joint account". Simply because, there is that thing about supporting a man that does not sit well with women taking care of a man.
Ladies I want you to understand something, and I also have a question? There is nothing wrong with having a joint account. If you two do not have a joint account, it does not mean that he does not love you, or is not going to take care of you. Now for the question, if he is taking care of you, and I mean NO worries. Would you want a joint account then? Ladies if you display an attitude about having a joint account. I am talking like being very firm about it. You will appear to be up to something, or appear to be a gold digger, or have some kind of plan.
Men, I want you to understand something. Most women will debate with you about the joint account, for NUMBEROUS reasons. For instants, men if you are taking GOOD care of her. She will more than likely still push the issue. Simply because you are married. As I said before, she will feel as she does not have a "hold" on you. She may feel as though since we are married we BETTER share the money! If you do not do this. This could appear to be a trust issue with her. She may say, if you are comitted to me, then what is the problem with you sharing your account? As I said before, there is that fear of her doing you in that you will have to overcome. Now remember, when she has all the money or is making more. There will be hesitation on this. Sound fair, no it doesn't. Simply because, women expect men to take care of themselves...PERIOD!
What makes this hard for a man is, the fact that now a days some women are out to try and break a man. His account is where is typically starts. So a lot of men are on the defensive when it comes to sharing their money. Women typically don't be as hesitant with this, if she is not making, or have more. Typically you don't hear about men going after a woman for money, or bugging her about a joint account. We are about providing, being independent, so the last thing we want to do is depend on someone else to do it for us. A man may go broke before he ask his woman for money. For one reason, his ego is on the line. He will more than likely feel like he is less of a man.
As you can see, true commitment, real trust, honesty, is a must have when it comes to financial fairness. Money is very important in a relationship. Does that mean that money is everything, no it does not. Do you have to be a millionaire, no you don't. But it has a big play in the comfort of your relationship. Especially if children are involved. Be mature, responsible adults, and fair to each other and everything will be fine.