Halfway Married
It seems that couples today are what I call "halfway married".
The meaning of halfway married is this. When you said your vows. You only meant SOME of them! People tend to want to pick and choose which vows they want to follow, disect them. This is why your relationship is doomed to fail from the beginning! Your already going into it half stepping. Then wonder why things begin to fall apart so soon! Allow me to give you some examples of what being halfway married is.
Things like, women getting tubes tied without their man knowing it, so they will not have children. Sleeping around, not being submissive, withholding sex. Here is the big one, honoring and obeying! Lets get a little bit deeper on each one of these. The first one, about the woman's tubes getting tied. I saw this one in a movie. The woman's husband wanted a child very badly. She being so wound up on her career by choice, instead of her marriage. She went behind her husband's back and got her tubes tide without consulting him first! Unfortunately finding out through conversation from a friend what she had done. Needless to say, they had a BIG blow up about it. Over some time, they mended what was wrong.
Once you get married, its not about just you anymore. That kind of a decision could DESTROY a marriage!! Think about this now, the loyaltly has been compromised, the respect is probably gone. Your mate may feel as though, they should not have to consult each other anymore about anything. See how this is snowballing? Personally, I think she or noone should get married and unless you are TRULY ready. Now, do I really have to get into sleeping around? This one is self explanatory. Then there is the not being submissive. This one is more common among ladies then it is men. So I have seen and heard. This is the one that men seem to have a problem with. The whole getting her to "submit" to you. Its simple men, read my female submission subject. This will give you the answer to why she is not submitting to you.
Withholding sex from each other. How can a man do this is WAY beyond me! Typically men have to have it, and women know this. Thats why some women play games with sex. Usually there is something that she may want. She will hold back until you are BURNING with sexual desire. Propose what she wants in a indirect, or direct way. Then she finally gives it to you, UNBELIEVABLE! I do understand that sometimes sex is not on the menu, especially after a hard day. So, I don't want to sound like I am being one sided, and you have to give it up on command ladies. So, there has to be some kind of compromise.
Remember, once you got married, your bodies are for each others pleasure. This is so temptation for someone else will not come into play. Also, I understand that being with one person, could be a part of it too. In other words, it may be getting old. Well, you have to keep it spicy. Do different things, try new things. The gloves are off once you get married. This is where the fun is supposed to REALLY begin. The bed of marriage is undefiled!!
Honor and obey, MAN where do I begin. If you can find me a woman in America today that can do this? Let me know when you do. Is this impossible to find, no its not. In America, women have become VERY independent, and have become feminist to the point where this part of the vows, is dismissed. Some women call it "going back the 50's". Its amazing how over time some things have changed but the basics are still in play. Men still want a submissive woman, women still want security. But couples want to pick and choose what vows to follow. I will say this ladies. If you are not willing to let the man, be the man. Then don't get married to him. You are going to have to sacrifice, or give in to him somewhere for this to work. Better yet, ask yourself this question. Can you let him be in charge? If you can not see it, DO NOT GET MARRIED!!
Does this mean, kissing his butt, bowing down to him, not at all. It is an understanding of who is the head and who is the tail. It does not mean that you are less important. If he is not making good decisions for you. Then you may have a problem. Should honoring and obeying be a given? Yes it should be, because you knew were you two stood before you decided to get married. Today, its earned not given. But ladies, if you were not willing to follow the vows completely. You should have not gone through with the marriage.
Going into marriage without FULL commitment to the vows, something will be missing. God did not make up these vows to be followed by YOUR little vows, he did not need your help. You putting your fine print to the side of them. People have come up with there OWN definition of what marriage is supposed to be like. These vows were established many years ago. So trying to change them, is NOT going to work for you today. Now, ask yourself, is there something that you are not all the way in agreement with in your marriage? Something you have done wrong that was in your control that could have been prevented? Are you just being rebelious, spiteful. Then, you may fall into the catagory of being halfway married, or.....not married at all.